Im not quite sure where to begin, i guess a small background story.
I got dumped, not given any specific reason why, or at least if it was hinted i missed it. or im just too dense to see it. or im just plain stupid and didnt pay attention when she told me what it was. whatever the reason, i feel like she is mad at me for not being there for her.

well... it would have been much easier for me to be there for her if she let me know she needed me to be there. but i always had to guess, and if i guessed right, i got to help, if i guessed wrong, she got mad at me. im not psycic, i cant read minds, sure it may feel like it sometimes, but thats because i like to read things, i like to figure out where things are going. but sometimes, or most of the time, you gotta tell me what is going on, i am just a human after all.

its like theres a bullet proof vest you never wear, but you get shot, and get angry at the vest for not protecting you, even tho you never put it on.

i dont know what to do with this, i love her to death, but i dont know how long i can hang on. i know the old saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but thats like saying there are many awards to be won, but only one championship... and that was her in my mind.

or maybe she thought i didnt trust her, but she didnt let me know this, if i did something wrong she wouldnt tell me like she promised she would, she would just be mad at me for it, and then let me try to figure it out. i am a very simple guy, somethings wrong, tell me... ill fix it. something needs to change... tell me, ill fix it. im doing something you dont like... tell me, ill fix it. but you HAVE TO TELL ME! no matter how hard to stare into my eyes i still cannot read what your thinking, i do not posses that ability in life. i wish i did, by the ancient scrolls i wish i did. but i do not. i dont know how many people read what i write, i just needed to vent in a place where there is a small chance she will read this, and if she does please... please do not me angry, im venting, letting out all the unproven frustrations i have, i have no proof to anything i say, just one of the ways i see what is happening. im sorry i couldnt be all you wanted me to be. im sorry.